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My Amazon Review... WHEN A MAN LOVES A WEAPON

5.0 out of 5 stars A Cure For Everything.... and Oh So Much Fun!
It doesn't matter if you are stressed, pissed, depressed, or happy... Bobbie Faye is the ultimate escape from real life. Bobbie Faye will leave you in tears from laughter, gaping from shock, and lusting for the men trailing behind her. This series is a must read with explosive tension and story telling that takes absurdity to a whole new fantastic level. Oh, and did I mention there's a whip? Oh yes, there is.

Toni McGee Causey is fabulous!

Four cures for, um, everything...



It doesn't matter what the problem is and it doesn't matter which you pick, just pick one. Personally, I read them all and so should you. Laughter is the key people.

Caught on Tape

I love these videos. There is almost nothing funnier....



Wishing you all...




A KICK-ASS, HAPPY-ENDING HALLOWEEN!


The Teen's Homecoming...with Pictures

I never understood dressing up for homecoming. Honestly, I never understood the point in homecoming at all. That being the case I didn't dress up for any of my high school homecoming games. Not even, to my shock, when I was asked to be someone's date our senior year. So my senior homecoming game featured me in jeans, my senior t-shirt, and a three-foot-long corsage. Trust me, I realized my mistake when my date handed me the corsage. It was embarrassing enough that he did it in front of his family, with me having no clue, much less how ridiculous it looked on a T-SHIRT!

Worse, I volunteered to sale hats for a teacher because no one else would. Mmm I wonder why? I don't catch on to quick. Not to mention, I'm a born suck-up and very good at it. It's compensating for the lack of charm the powers that be forgot to give me. So the entire game my date entertained himself by clipping clothes pins to my hat, all the while watching our classmates walk by enjoying themselves. Two things: I am a horrible date and still am, he is made of good stuff to have never left my side that night. Don't worry I kept him around, though not in the way you're thinking. THREE times we tried that and it didn't work. Today we are each other's oldest friends and he is still made of the good stuff, and has found Miss. Fabulous to match. Afterwards we did have some fun. We met up with our crew at Pizza Hut and had a blast. That's my kind of fun: jeans, pizza, and really loud laughing.

Fast forward ten years and kids are still dressing up for homecoming. There are even dances, which I'm sure there were back when I was in school but ours didn't have any. The Teen has a girl friend this year, so naturally he took her to their homecoming dance. In prepping for this I figured the teen would want some khaki pants and a nice shirt. Oh no, he wanted the tie, the belt, the works. So The Husband took him shopping and eighty-some-odd-dollars later we had a teen-morphed-man standing in the kitchen.

Two nights later teen-morphed-man was standing back in the kitchen trying to figure out what to do about his wrinkled dress shirt. The Husband was at work and SS was really scared to let me try and iron it. Taking unjustified offense, I yanked the shirt out of his hands and slung out our ironing board like a domestic bad-ass (we won't tell SS that I had my twitterfolk offering up sacrifices to the domestic gods). I ironed. It worked. There was clapping. Bad-assery killed.

Next was the tie. SS and I were clueless and there was only one thing to do: Google. Did you expect anything else? It really is shocking how many videos there are on this. He was ready, posed for pics, and out the door. Forty-five minutes later I squealed because SS forgot his tickets and that meant pictures of him and The Girl. Later it occurred to me that I had ironed, forced pictures upon them, and squealed. . . all over homecoming.



Can you see, in this bottom picture, how happy he is with me. All he's thinking is, "I WANT TO LEAVE!"

24 Hour Read-A-Thon: The Second Twelve Hours

Well the last two hours haven't been very productive, with only ten pages read. Hey that's how it works with a 6, 5, 3, and 1yo to work around. Although the 5yo DD made good for a cheerleader as she waved her pom-poms a few minutes ago. Okay, so she wasn't cheering for me but we'll pretend.

You can see the previous post to see how my first twelve hours went. I'm excited and anxious to see how the rest of the night goes. As a first timer I'm definitely enjoying myself and will be awaiting the April Read-A-Thon.

Hour 13!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 20 + the entire first chapter of my girl H.C. Zuerner's Watchers (working title).
Minichallenges Completed: 1 - Mid-Event Survey

Mid-Event Survey:
1. What are you reading right now? Manhunting by Jennifer Crusie
2. How many books have you read so far? The last half of one. A novel by @mizwrite
3. What book are you most looking forward to for the second half of the Read-a-thon? The one I'm reading now.
4. Did you have to make any special arrangements to free up your whole day? Hahahahahahahaha...
5. Have you had many interruptions? How did you deal with those? Bwahahahahahaha... This survey was not meant for me, not with as many kids as I have. lol
6. What surprises you most about the Read-a-thon, so far? The cheerleaders! They are freakin awesome. I read about it on the Dewey site but I didn't actually think they'd come to MY blog and cheer me on. Total awesomeness.7. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year? Nope. I love it like it is!
8. What would you do differently, as a Reader or a Cheerleader, if you were to do this again next year? I will be doing it again and I will only pray for it to be on one of my husband's off days. lol
9. Are you getting tired yet? Nope.
10. Do you have any tips for other Readers or Cheerleaders, something you think is working well for you that others may not have discovered? For readers, not really. For cheerleaders, not really a tip because you are all so awesome, but if you wanna be funny you can take after softdrink and make up actual cheers. LOL Hilarious stuff!

Hour 14!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 50! (some of the kids are sleeping, its getting more and more quiet)
Minichallenges Completed: 0 Oh I so love yoga, I'm so tempted but I'm really in love with this book right now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee more Manhunting!

Hour 15!
Book Title Manhunting
Pages Read: 63 *sings Movin on up*
Minichallenges: 0 (Thank you Dewey, girl YOU ROCK!)

Hour 16!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 42 (slacker, slacker, slacker.... I think this book is so good I'm slowing down to enjoy it. I really don't want it to end. Jennifer Crusie you rock!)
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 17!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 48
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 18!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: A creature scurried across my room and into my "messy room" AKA the closet. Enough said. If you care to laugh at my situation you may go back through and find my tweets. Trust me, you can't miss them. *shiver*
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 19!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: FINISHED MANHUNTING! Woo! (Oh God I wanna snuggle up to husband after than fantastic romance. That is making the sleepiness worse!) 5 pages into Sandal in Copper Lake and put it down *sigh*
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 20!
Book Title: Bite Me (I don't do YA. I don't think this is going to last. Why did I pick this again. Wow, I'm tired.) Switching to Heat Wave (Bite Me is cute but not something that can keep me up at 3 am)
Pages Read: 61 of Bite Me & 18 of Heave Wave (<----- that is suppose to be Heat Wave, see how tired I am?)
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 21!
Book Title: Heat Wave
Pages Read: 10
Minichallenges: 1 Take a Break

Here is my chosen photo: Its my closet door shut with blankets stuffed at the bottom to trap in th creature that stole my 18th hour of reading in the read-a-thon. We all know those blankets are useless, though they make me feel better, so my only comfort is that I'm bigger and surely it's more scared of me than I am of it. (Note to Self: mouse trap, in the morning, stat)



Total Hours: 21 1/2
Total Pages: 483

Not bad with five kids, a rodent, and coffee that just aint cuttin it. I'm a newbie. I did good. Go me! THANK YOU to all the cheerleaders who absolutely rocked this read-a-thon! I hope to be adding lots of new blogs to my google reader and that you'll all continue to drop by.

Truly, people who do not read have no idea what they are missing.

24 Hour Read-a-Thon: The First Twelve Hours

IT'S HERE! I'm an hour late but that's okay. To the right is my read-a-thon TBR pile. However, I'm deviating from it slightly to finish up a wonderful romance from writer @mizwrite. It's a beta-read and this is the perfect opportunity to finish it up. I'll be updating this post hourly with my reading stats. Starting in 30 minutes.

Fast forward to 30 minutes later: Not only did I wake an hour late I'm also with out my mac. I killed yet another keyboard last night (another funny disaster of mine that is probably blog worthy but will wait for another time) so I'm on husband's laptop. Even thought there is a mouse it makes for slow work for me. I did start reading a half hour ago but then then caught a glimpse in the mirror. A shower was necessary. Now I'm ready to tear it up! I tried the first minichallenge but I couldn't do a screenshot, because there doesn't seem to be a program on The Husband's laptop that will open it. That or I've been on a mac for so long that I can't work a pc anymore. I tried to take a picture of the screen with my phone and that didn't work either. It wasn't meant for me to participate in this cool contest. No worries.

Hour 1!
Book Title:
Pages Read:
Minichallenges Completed:

I slept the first hour EEP!

Hour 2!
Book Title: Earning Wings
Pages Read: 14 (I had to shower!)
Minichallenges completed: 1 - The meme below.

Where are you reading from today?
How many books do you have in your TBR pile for the next 24 hours? Five
Do you have any goals for the read-a-thon (i.e. number of books, number of pages, number of hours, or number of comments on blogs)? To finish 4/5
If you’re a veteran read-a-thoner, Any advice for people doing this for the first time? Nope this is my first time! I'm very excited. Let's hope the 6, 5, 3, and 1yo cooperate.

Hour 3!
Book Title: Earning Wings
Pages Read: 31 (Pretty good considering I'm cleaning kitchen and twittering lol)
Minichallenges completed: 1 - Were in the World is the Read-A-Thon

Hour 4!
Book Title: Earning Wings
Pages Read: 18 (dishwaster did get loaded and really, really dirty diaper changed)
Minichallenges: 0

I WON a prize for the hour 1 meme! YAY!
Kids are being too quiet. I should check on that.

Hour 5!
Book Title:Earning Wings
Pages Read: 22 (had to stop and do dictionary work for banter between teen and GF...that info is for another blog post lol)
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 6!
Book Title: Earning Wings
Pages Read: 10 (I have a teen who wants to go, go, go. Oy!)Minichallenges: 0 (Dude they are getting hard! LOL)

Hour 7!
Book Title: Earning wings
Pages Read: 29
Minichallenges: 0 (I like the idea of the Eat to Read one but I gots no snacks. I never even thought to do that. Mmmm should have grabbed a pic of those fish sticks before I devoured them.)

Hour 8!
Book Title: Earning Wings (I will finish. I will finish. I will finish.)
Pages Read: 0 (Did minichallenge and visited other read-a-thon bloggers)
Minichallenges: 1 Who Keeps You Company

Here is who's keeping me company as I stroll through the read-a-thon. This is a perfect challenge b/c I took pictures a couple of hours ago to send to husband who is having a not so great day at work.


Hour 9!
Book Title: Earning Wings
Pages Read: 38 (less than 40 pages left its closing up fast, will probably be into second book in the tenth hour)
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 10!
Book Title: Earning Wings/Manhunting
Pages Read: 54 (I'm excited to get to tonight when all the kiddos are tucked in bed, then we'll let loose the speed-reading) I'm into Manhunting now, love Jennifer Crusie. And now I have to cook and read. Eep!
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 11!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 5 (I had to feed five people cut me some slack *winks*)
Minichallenges: 0

Hour 12!
Book Title: Manhunting
Pages Read: 5 (AGAIN Oy! I think it's bed time for the kiddos lol)
Minichallenges: 0

Read-a-thon to continue in new post. Much, much fun!

Alabamians and Their Football

I kid you not when I say this is one of my step-daughter's (who's in the band) high school football games from a few weeks ago. Apparently one of the parents didn't care for the calls the ref was making and...

wait for it...

attacked him with a chair.

I've never been prouder of my home state. ; )



Dewey 24-Hour Read-a-Thon Reading List

The Read-a-Thon is four days away. I've chosen four short reads. Here they are in the order I'll read them in:

Man Hunting by Jennifer Crusie (I've started this but haven't gotten very far. I waiting for read-a-thon to continue.)

A Marriage-Minded Man by Karen Templeton

Scandal in Copper Lake by Marilyn Pappano

Bite Me by Melissa Francis

The first three were sent to me by @kidell and the fourth I bought a month or so ago. I'm excited.

Six Kids, No Sleep, How?

First we'll talk about my sleep patterns. If you follow me on twitter and pay attention, then you know that I protest bed time vehemently. Stomping feet and all. There are so many other things I'd rather be doing than being horizontal . . . okay, except for that.

Seeing as I have to sleep then my favorite time to sleep is from 2 a.m. until 9 a.m. I hear my husband laughing inside my head, because he knows that it's nothing for me to sleep until 11 or 12. Even so, it's not pleasant to sleep past 9 a.m. I feel groggy, and that is miserable. On my husband's off nights I get to bed a lot sooner than 2 a.m. We bargain and sometimes it ends at about 1 a.m. Sometimes he's a trooper and he'll stay up until 2 or 3.

On occasion I don't go to bed at all. On those mornings, when he wakes to find me still up, I get silent treatment, kissed goodbye, and scolded on the phone hours later. He doesn't understand working on no sleep, so he worries. It's sweet and in a way his concern is valid (not for safety reasons but for bitchiness reasons). I have my best days when I'm up at 6 a.m. and in bed by midnight, yep, and cokes are bad for you and chocolate makes you fat. Watch me on twitter and see how often I hit the bed at midnight.

Past what's already been stated there are other valid reasons for my
"night-owlness." I have friends on the west side of the country. Two hours behind me. So when I'm going to bed at midnight, they are just getting on, all the while The Husband and Life are trying to convince me to go to bed. That is generally when the foot stomping begins. I wanna play, dammit. Another valid reason is that there are seven people in this house, eight when SD makes it over. Guess when it's quiet? Thank you.

Now to answer the big question: How? How are you able to sleep until 9 a.m.? How do you function on 4-6 hrs of sleep?

-only 5/6 live here full time.
-one is 16 and he's a lot more independent than the 6, 5, 3, & 1yo.
-my kids are late sleepers.
-my kids are good kids.
-my mom was a night owl and she passed on super-energy genes to me.


That's it. I know, I know, my life rocks —but only because of the people in it.

SAHMs & Twitter Word-A-Thons

@jimsissy likes to have word-a-thons, and this time it was for her birthday. I thought I'd share the step-by-step process of how that goes on a normal day for me.


After lunch I block off the kitchen and stairs for the 1yo. All the kids have been schooled and we've played some games. After lunch I settled us all into the living room, although the older kids go back and forth from their bedrooms. Now keep in mind that we live in an apartment, while big for an apartment it's still not that big. So there's not too many places for hiding and doing naughty things. Its the advantage of small. It's hard not to know what everyone is doing and it gives a very small amount of escapism. Not as much as at night, but still you get my point. Now on to the step-by-step...


Starting Time: About 1 p.m.


-Open Scrivener.

-1yo falls and his mouth is bleeding.

-Sit back at desk.

-Dryer finishes.

-Sit back down.

-Nature calls.

-Sit back down, ear phones in.

-6, 5, & 3yo start arguing.

-Sit back down, hands on keys, there is actual typing...for about 3 minutes.

-5yo yells at computer. I stop to explain how it doesn't make the computer work any fast no matter how loud you yell at it. I make a mental note to talk to 16yo about his influence on his siblings.

-Sit down, hands on keyboard.

-Dennis Palumbo, Kresley Cole, and Gena Showalter are staring at me. Stop it books!

-Tap, tap, tap.....progress....tap, tap, tap.

-Nature calls. Damn coffee.

-Come back down, it's lunch time for 1yo.

-Twitter while feeding child.

-Learn about www.beatcancereverywhere.com and do some more twitter while still feeding 1yo.

-Jammin song comes on, must do a jig with the kids. Pause feeding.

-Continue with Feeding and donate $1 each to Stand Up To Cancer, Bright Pink, Spirit Jump, & Alex's Lemonade Stand all at www.beatcancereverywhere.com

-Kid fed, distracted by www.twitterbackgrounds.com. I've just realized you can customize it with your own pictures. Too cool.

-Poop diaper. Bleh.

-Realized I didn't turn dryer on. Oh well, more time before I have to fold.

-I don't even sit down before 1yo is crying again. A full tummy and clean arse is just not enough for this kid. *snickers* He's actually still worn out from visiting the pumpkin patch the day before, off to bed...again.

-Now its 3 p.m. I'm rereading this list and trying to figure out how all of that takes up two hours.

-Oh yes, the twitter background......I'll ponder the fact that I'm going to finish the background rather than get back to word-a-thon later.

-I find out that to use the background maker it cost $4.99. The $4.99 at the top of the page, very clearly I might add, should have clued me in. *facepalm* Photoshop people don't pay for that kind of thing. I'll make my own.

-Back to that writing.

-Stop to argue with @jimsissy about my twitter avatar. She'll be who I blame later when there are no words for her word-a-thon.

-Back to the writing.

-Possessed by tickle monster that will not be satisfied until kids are conquered.

-Sit back down, twitter off, go! Some one is shot, shirts come off, chick is thankful for bras, witty convo, I'm laughing, having fun oh but no..."I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry!" That would be the kids.

Oh and it's 4 p.m. now.

-Sit back down down. I feel stuck (funny how I was just having fun with this and now nothing). I type anyway, there is a backspace button after all.

-Two paragraphs later and I'm out of coffee, I'm not stopping b/c fingers are actually flying. The fun is back!

-Pause, clean child's hands. Think ahead and set timer for 1/2hr. I'll have to start dinner then.

-Unpause.

-Fast forward a half hour and its dinner time.

-Fast forward to 7:40 and the kids are fed, me fed, teen home, watched vampire diaries (at this point

I'm not even sure why I'm watching it anymore...okay so I like Damon. First time ever that I've watch a show for the bad guy, but the actor can freakin deliver a line!)

-Back to the word-a-thon before bedtime comes around.

-9:30 Kids in bed, husband home, Moonrat has me watching Legally Blonde, NOT my fault! She even gave me time and channel, you tell me how I was suppose to resist such a good chick flick? I did keep typing though, it was slow but still...

-Fast forward to midnight after The Husband has distracted me for a freakin hour! Imagine him wanting to spend time with me after work? The nerve.


Results: 500 words (roughly three pages), two deleted scenes, and rearrangement of some others. That folks, is how its done.


Note to self: No more copy/paste font size goes funky.

Halloween Twitter Avatar


I took a mole and added a witch hat and broom. Hahaha....

EDIT: Apparently when this is a tiny square on twitter, it looks like a dwarf witch. Aaaand changing avatars.